Reflections of a Retired Elementary School Librarian

I'm sure that I'm not the only person pausing to reflect on things this month. The thoughts in my head are swirling so chaotically that I decided to write them down. I feel like Albus Dumbledore, wanting to pull those filmy thoughts and memories from my head to store in my own Pensieve, where I can return to them later and try to distinguish any patterns. For now, this blog will have to serve that purpose.

It has been 10 years since I discovered my true passion in life. Well, related to work, anyway. In January of 2011, I began a new position for the Montrose County School District in Colorado. I became an elementary school librarian. I was terrified. The job came to me in a very unexpected way. Just one month earlier, my principal had called me in to tell me that the district would be eliminating my current position (classroom para) at the end of the school year. We both got teary, and she explained that I had a couple of options. I could stay with them until the end of the school year, and wait to see what options would be available to me at that point. OR I could apply for the librarian position at another school, because their librarian was retiring at the semester break. The job posting was closing that very day. 

The choice was pretty clear. I applied for the position with my principal's blessing, turned in my paperwork, and then I interviewed for it a week later. Next thing I knew, Christmas break was near, and I was making emergency plans to fly to Ft. Worth, TX, where my oldest daughter had just delivered a 3 lb., 4 oz. baby girl, 7 weeks early. I spent the entire break in TX, spending every day with her and the baby in the NICU. While I was there, I got a call offering me the librarian job. I accepted.

January arrived. I flew home, took a deep breath, and went to the new school and new job on the teacher workday that began the new semester. I had no idea how to use the library system for checking in/out books, and I only knew one person in the whole building. I had that one day to receive a crash course in library management from the district rep, and I was thrown out of the frying pan into the fire.

I loved it. I loved getting to know every kid in the building. I loved creating lesson plans that were fun and engaging. I loved helping the children discover books. I learned how to run the spring and fall bookfairs, which were hugely successful. I loved hosting the pumpkin decorating contests in October, and the canned food drives in December. We watched videos that were inspired by books. Every spring, during standardized testing season, the upper grades and I spent 3 weeks watching "Holes"....and discussing foreshadowing, character development, and comparing the events portrayed in the movie to the way they evolved in the book. Every January, we began to read the nominees for the Colorado Children's Book Award, and voted as a student body, sending our results to Denver for the final tally in March. We played trivia tic-tac-toe, matching games, and did literary crossword puzzles and word searches. Over time, the kids developed several favorite read-a-loud stories, so we would have a week toward the end of the year when we pulled out all the old favorites to reread before the summer. We laughed together, and they saw me cry, too, during our read-aloud time. I did funny voices. And many times, we ended up having some very insightful discussions. I will tell you this now. ALL kids love being read to. From kindergarten to 5th grade, they love it. The older kids won't admit it as readily as the little ones, but they do. 

I held my dream job for 6 1/2 years, until my husband's new employment necessitated a move. I still work for schools, but I am now a special ed para, helping students with reading, writing and math interventions. But, from 2011 until the end of time, in my heart and soul, I am a librarian. It defined me in a way that I had not expected, and it will remain the definition of who I am, following only my roles as wife, mom, and daughter of God. 

The Struggle with optimism

At school, I am a member of the Character Ed committee. Every year we choose a different character trait for each month and encourage all the classrooms to teach and implement that trait. At our quarterly POW WOWs (awards assemblies), each teacher chooses a student who exemplifies good character and they are given an award and allowed to put a painted handprint on the wall in our main hallway. It's a big deal.

A couple of years ago, I approached the committee and suggested that I take the first week of every month to build and teach a lesson about the current trait. I knew that time was so precious for classroom teachers, and so my less-structured library was a good place to have a lesson/activity/discussion about the "trait-of-the-month". The committee agreed, and I've done it ever since.

It has been fun for me. I have enjoyed researching and creating short lessons to illustrate each character trait...responsibility, honesty, citizenship, and so on. It's fun to select a book to read to them that helps to explain these character builders. (Some of my favorites....The Empty Pot by Demi for honesty, Tops and Bottoms by Janet Stevenson for fairness, Arthur's Pet Business for responsibility, Stone Soup by Jon Muth for cooperation....) I have discovered that elementary students can be remarkably intuitive and perceptive when given the chance for such discussions.

So, here we are, the last month of the '16-'17 school year, and our topic is Optimism. This was a tough one to make into a lesson that 6 to 11 year olds could grasp. But after spending a few hours on the internet, I came up with an activity that has actually gone very well! Even my littlest ones seemed able to grasp the concept of looking on the brighter side and focusing on how to improve things when they don't go the way we wish they would! (P.S. The book I chose is Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day...we read it and then talk about how poor Alexander could have made the best of his situations instead of just threatening to move to Australia!) Anyway, I had felt like this would be an easier topic for me to teach and model, since I've always thought of myself as a fairly optimistic person.

So much for thinking. I have had such a struggle with my positive attitude lately. I have been frustrated with work all year. I have lost sleep over Michael's job situation. Yes, even though he is now gainfully employed again, and in a job that we are very happy about, I still carry residual worry about it ......... and about money. We will move to Utah the end of this month, where once more I will need to find a new job. Once more, I had hoped that his new employment might mean that I didn't have to work. But it doesn't. And I'm grumpy about it. At 57, I'm nervous that I won't be as employable in my chosen career path...will a school want to hire a librarian that's only a few years away from retirement? And my other worry....will I have the patience and perseverance (another recent character trait, BTW) to effectively DO the job? The kids at my school the past 3 or so years have gotten progressively less manageable...and it wears me out. Getting up before dawn has NEVER been biologically easy for me. I don't like it. I don't want to do it anymore. It stinks. And I'm very frustrated with my limited mobility...I've been using a cane now for almost 2 years, thanks to severe arthritis in both knees. Bone on bone means I'm awful slow, and I can't walk very far without having to sit and rest. I detest the fact that every outing I go on is measured by how many steps I'll need to take. Yes, I need new knees, but even with insurance, it ain't gonna happen for a while. (Remember that money thing I mentioned earlier?)

Oh, don't get me wrong, I can still easily make a list of the good things. I AM grateful to have a job. I LOVE being a librarian. The health coverage offered by my district has been a huge blessing. It is a job that I can still do, even with my knees. My UT girls are so excited for us to come live by them, and I'm thrilled to live by them and their families. And Michael's job, and health, are both great.

My problem is that I can list the positives, but it doesn't seem to improve my mood. And that makes me angry with myself. I don't want to turn into Pollyanna, but I'd sure like these good things to push the frustrations farther back on the burners. Incinerating them would be even better.

Is this just a pity party, or a more serious issue? Yep, I worry about that one, too.

Oh, well. For now, just unloading it all on this poor blog will have to be enough. That, and the fact that we are only 2 and a half weeks away from summer vacation. I've never needed the break this much, and I pray that it will give me the attitude adjustment I so desperately need. There is much to do between now and Memorial Day weekend, and thankfully, I have terrific kids to help me do it.

Cue Annie....The sun'll come out, tomorrow...........

Summer Blog Challenge 2016 - Entry for July 27 - I Regret Never Having Learned to.....

....speak Spanish more fluently. It has limited me in my work, and that has been frustrating. I did very well in high school Spanish, and so was able to pick up more of it when I began to work in this school district and had students who came with no English. But where I live, there are many people who don't speak English, and it is difficult to communicate.

That being said, I also don't really have a desire to become more fluent. It's just one of those things that I feel was a window I didn't open at the right time, and now I've gotten used to it being shut. Oh, well....I certainly do have a respect for those who are bilingual, and I depend on them. Thanks!

Fine, how are you?

Summer Blog Challenge 2016 - Entry for July 24 - Why My Relationship Works

Everyone sees the key word in the title of this entry, right?  WORKS. My relationship with Michael Roger works because we work. 

I think that, after 37 years of marriage, there are some ways that we have become more alike than we were. That's not a bad thing, I'm sure much of it is because of the fact that our history together makes this true. But we are also still different in how we handle things (like stress) or how we form and maintain friendships. 

I know it doesn't always hold true for everyone, but I think part of our success is the fact that we have grown up together. Teen marriages have a higher percentage of failures, according to statistics, but we have just built each other up over the years. And I can't downplay the part that humor plays in our lives...because laughing about things and finding the fun in life is a key survival strategy!  Fortunately, it comes naturally to both of us!

And I feel like a major part of the success of our relationship is our commitment to God and our faith. Having this in common, and working on it together, is crucial to maintaining (and improving!) our bond.

He's a good guy.  He's a loyal, fierce friend. He's a determined, funny person. The family we have created together is amazing, and as it expands, we both revel in the joys it brings.

How cute (and oh, so 70's!!) were we!?

Summer Blog Challenge 2016 - Entry for July 23 - What Music Am I Listening to Currently?

Beach Boys Pandora Station.
Broadway Showstopper's Pandora.

That is all.

Tune in again.

Summer Blog Challenge 2016 - Entry for July 21 - How Do I Express My Creativity?

My creativity is limited.  I feel like I do have a creative side, but it is brought about by the ideas of others.

I enjoy crocheting, reading, writing reviews of books I've read, some pottery/ceramic items, and some types of crafting.  I have done tole painting projects and the odd Pinterest project or two. All of these outlets are fun and rewarding.  But I usually need guidance and inspiration from other sources.  I would love to be one of those people who can envision a project and then know exactly what to do to make it come to life. However, I tend to be the person who looks at someone else's idea and says "YES! That's what I want!" There are even times when I can look at a project and come up with a way to improve it.

There is another area, I suppose, where I feel a certain creative flow, and it's related to my work.  I've been in public education for 19 years now, and my varied experiences have allowed me to think of unique and fun ways to bring life to my classroom (the library) and to decorate and make it into a warm, welcoming environment. I think, out of all of my creative outlets, this is the one I am most proud of, because it's the one that I think benefits me and others the most.

Summer Blog Challenge 2016 - What's on my reading list? Entry for 7/15

Most of the books on my "to-read" list will be children's and YA literature--the nature of my job, but a very pleasant one!


"Britt-Marie Was Here" and "My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry" by Fredrik Backman.  I just LOVED "A Man Called Ove" (Mahan Girls Book Club selection), and have seen great reviews on these other two from trusted fellow read-a-philes!

"Allie, First at Last" by Angela Cervantes. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed "Gabby, Lost and Found", and want to read this follow-up novel.  I have many Hispanic girls in my school, and these stories will be ones they can relate to. FYI - I also love Pam Munoz Ryan, who wrote "Esperanza Rising" and "Becoming Naomi Leon", as well as this year's Newbery Honor book "Echo". I've read all those.

"Booked" by Kwame Alexander - This young author bumped out Jacqueline Woodson for the Newbery in 2015 with his prose novel "Crossover", and I LOVED it! So, time to read the next one! (Side note: "Brown Girl Dreaming" by Jacqueline Woodson won a Newbery Honor that year, and it is brilliant, incredible, impressive...........)

"Ball Don't Lie" by Matt de la Pena -- this author just did what I believe has never been done before...he won the Newbery Medal for a picture book! "Last Stop on Market Street" is brilliant, and Christopher Robinson rightfully won a Caldecott Honor for his illustrations. So I read up on Mr. de la Pena and discovered that he's been writing YA fiction for years!  So I'm going to research some of his earlier works, starting with this one, published back in 2005. Here is a link to his Newbery acceptance speech.........my daughter Lisa sent it to me, and it made us both cry.

http://www.hbook.com/2016/06/news/awards/2016-newbery-acceptance-by-matt-de-la-pena/#_

"Middle School #1: The Worst Years of My Life" by James Patterson. Trust me, I wouldn't pick this up for my own personal reading enjoyment, but I just saw a trailer (why are they not called "previews" anymore?) for the movie adaptation of this book. James Patterson also co-writes the "I, Funny" series, of which I have the first one in my library.  He seems to be finding new writing life by co-authoring YA fiction, so good for him, I guess....anyway, I will read this to determine if it's appropriate for my elementary library. According to Lexile.com, the reading level is definitely within my older kids' range. They love DOWK (Diary of a Wimpy Kid), so reading about middle school rebels and early teen angst is obviously appealing. If it seems appropriate, then I'll commit to buying the series (there appears to be 6 of them already!).

Yeah, yeah, I suppose I need help. Honestly, if it wasn't for my daughters and our monthly book club, I would never be exposed to any grown-up literature! So if any of you out there have adult recommendations for reading, let me know!  I don't do scary, violent or racy, and profanity just distracts from the story for me, but other than that, I'd be happy to entertain your suggestions!