"You Have Chosen....Wisely...."

If you recall, when I first began blogging, I stated in my 'bio' that I'm pretty good at a lot of things, but not really excellent at anything.  And that I'm OK with that.  Well, I'm not very good at change. Change involves taking chances, stepping outside your comfort zone, trying something you've never tried before.  I like my safe, comfortable little world, living in my snow globe of familiarity.  This trait hovers over both small and large decisions.  So why am I pondering this right now?  Because I got my hair cut.  And I mean, CUT.  I've never had my hair this short, ever.  I've contemplated it MANY times over the years, particularly during my child-rearing phase, when it was a pain to take time to fix and a pain (literally) to have it pulled by small hands.  But two weeks ago, I did it.  And I knew myself well enough by now to realize that I had to take certain steps to make sure I followed through.  The main step was to advertise it.  I told all my kids, and my 4 ya-yas, and my mom, that I was getting my hair cut, and cut off.  My cute little stylist even asked me as we got started, "Did you tell anyone you were going to do this?".  I told her yes, because I knew if I didn't, I'd chicken out.


I guess, in a way, my new haircut is a metaphor for my life.  I feel like it's a weakness to dislike change.  I'm old enough now to realize that changes happen, and that, more often than not, they  improve my life, not the opposite.  I also think that being resistant to change indicates a certain lack of faith.  One of my favorite scenes in any movie is from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, when Indy takes a leap of faith from the lion's mouth.  He is staring across a seemingly endless, and impassable, abyss that he must cross in order to save his father's life.  (My fear of heights makes this scene particularly intense).  He closes his eyes, raises his foot, and lurches forward to apparently imminent death.  But he stops dead just a foot away.  There it is....a stone bridge that blends into the mountainside so well that it appears invisible.  I can relate.  And, sadly, most of the time I probably turn around and look for an alternate route.  Thankfully, I cannot say that I've ever been faced with a choice that is life-threatening, or life-altering, for me or anyone I love (I mean in a negative sense!  Marriage, having children, etc.; those life-altering choices have been VERY positive!)  I think I'm getting better at choosing to change, and I don't just mean my hair.  I have been better about taking risks, and hopefully have improved at taking care of the people in my life.  I am 52 years old, and still a big chicken, but I understand a little better that the changes in my life, whether chosen by me or not, have molded my character and my life.  They're gonna keep coming, whether I like them or not...I might as well take that leap of faith and embrace them.  


Oh, and I think I'm gonna like my new hair.  It makes me look more like a grandma, but hey...that's another change that I have embraced with enthusiasm, so why not look the part?